Just one of those days.

So, today is another one of those days. Ya know, when you feel physically and emotionally like shit when the previous day you were perfectly fine. On the physical side, I've been stuffed up and sneezing all day and I have this headache that just won't go away even though I took some medicine. Although it's just a little headache thats not too bad, it's still there. I guess when it rains all day and I have no choice but to sit at home, I get to thinking and sometimes my mind tends to wander off into places I wish it didn't go. Like, today it went to thinking about past relationships AGAIN and I began to think that something must be wrong with me, because all of my exes cheated. I must've not been doing what I should've been doing as a girlfriend. And then I began to think about the "could have been" relationships where eventually the guy just lost interest in me. So, I was just wondering wtf is wrong with me? Still got no answer to that....

Then, the feeling of loneliness began it set in. You would think I'd been numb to the feeling since I've been this way for a pretty long time but its just one of those feelings I can't avoid. I can't remember the last time I even heard someone say "I love you" other than family, or a friend. I miss hearing that, and I miss saying "I love you too". I wonder when I'd get a chance to say that again or hear it again. Shit, that would make me too happy right now.

So yeah, thats what I've been thinking about all day and it had me in a pretty crappy mood. I mean, I'm okay now but earlier I wish I really had someone to talk to. Currently, I really don't have someone to talk to about my problems and how I'm feeling. It helps when you have someone to talk to who can just give an encouraging "Everything's gonna be okay." Sometimes I wish this damn blog would write back to me and give me some advice. Lol. But since that won't be happening I guess I'll just continue to do what I normally do. Cry a little until I feel better, then write in this blog. Sucks huh? I know.

But on a lighter note, why the fuck is it raining so much?! Yesterday it was like so hot, like the kind of hot where the beach was fuckin' heaven. So, the beach was where I was at just about all day yesterday. But today, the sun was not out at all, and it was just raining the whole day. Stupid ass rain fucked up my mood! Hmph! But anyway, yeah, I'm okay now like I said. And I think I'm done with this blog now. I'll go listen to some music and sing outloud although I sound like shit. I'll just keep these headphones on to avoid hearing myself. Hehe. Thank God you can't hear me.

Anyway, toodles!