In MY mind;

Read Me

2010-01-22T22:15:00.000-08:00

Can you read the unwritten lines as they seep my skin?

Lingering frantically within

Can you comprehend the verbal silence before they disperse from my pen?

Please allow me to moment to lend

The faults, the fear, the hurt, the torture, the faith, the hope

Of my inner most plies

Take here my cries of ties night and night

As long as tomorrow's strength tries to get by

Read the changes I’ve been going through….

To find my self here…..at this point…..in this place

Within myself

Memorize me like your most favorite movie

For you to adequately soothe me

Repeat to me every line

Incline

With passion to understand the essence of mine

And then allow me to get through

Grant me the ability for you and I to intertwine

Slow dance or prance in reality

Because actually,

Without flipping the pages

Touching the words

The image is a fallacy

Of diluted expectations

Read me

With apprehension

Time

After time

The Night Before

2009-07-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

I can not sleep with the knowing
The darkness, the emptiness
Is all of my choosing.
I try not to enumerate my failings
Though it would seem that I should
Never reach the end of that list…
I remember one day wondering
If you or I had taken care
of something important
something so very important
that had never crossed our minds
yet just this time
just this time laying beside you
I had an epiphany.
We are selfish and careless
And the world is closing in around us
But we just don’t care.
Not to fight back or take
A stand or organize a protest
We fight in our sleep
Reality like an intruder has entered our minds
Rousing our otherwise peaceful state of self delusion.
Our love does not exist in the real world…
Though we fantasize about it’s success
never knowing the sting of perseverance
Or long suffering
I can not sleep.
So I fill my mind with
Novelty and collapse
With a few hours to spare for exhaustion
I want for so much more than
My own mediocrity…
Sleep a little while longer my love
I will tell you of my dreams in the morning.

Blahh.

2009-07-15T11:58:00.000-07:00

My day has been pretty boringggg. I've been just sitting here with nothing to do, so I wrote a few poems. Here they go!

"Thinking"

I think and think and think of you
Thinking, contemplating, pondering
giving thought to the thought of thinking of you
Transparent, clear, vivid, canvas of a person
whose presence seeps right through me
Essence seems to travel from the very top of my head to my feet
from my feet who guides me right back to thoughts
of thinking of you
How much thinking can one possibly do?
Until I've studied every millimeter to inch of you
inside and out around and through
Through walls set up to protect
to depths no one has touched yet
Over and beneath all doubt
thinking about...what you're thinking about
Communication through silence
Beyond your tolerance of "random" women
Thinking
Thinking I want to be your assurance
that people can be naturally good
and the touch I give is naturally pure
Pure to the thoughts of thinking of you
Random acts of kindness come naturally simply thinking of you
Well worth my time
deserving of my thoughts and for each thought
I've caught myself thinking and thinking about you again...

"Deaf"

I long to hear your voice.
Soft folds of velvet draped across my name.
Dripping slow like honey from my ears
whispers of nothing and everything.
Love in the words fall like raindrops on my skin,
washing me with sweet soliloquies of promise.
Mind falls deaf to the warm caress of your inaudible kiss
heard only with the heart.
Your breath over my body screams of bliss
and is met with an echo of indescribable joy.
What's more beautiful than beautiful?
Quiet, for the words we are don't exist yet;
unmatched, unparalleled, prototypical, and without flaw.
Untraceable dialect, foreign tongue, understood by no one outside of We.
Tattooed on my soul invisible to all but you,
"yours" in so many words,
and shouted in deafening silence.

"Love in the fastlane"

Last night was evidence, that I am merely human.
Yes. Nothing, but human at times.
It all started with a kiss. A guiltless kiss.
On my neck. Sweet, simple bliss.
Then that simplistic expression, it changed.
He kissed me like he meant it and here I am
Again…
Love in the fast lane.
Adrenaline seeking, drag strip lover am I.
Smitten. Smitten, I am.
He says my name, my engine revs.
Seat belt right, grip 10 and 2 tight.
Foot on the gas. I want to green light.
Straight toward the best parts. But he.
He hangs in the right lane, when it comes to his heart.
Takes it slow, cruising as me and my emotions
Speed right by…
Me in love with the fast lane.
Change my pace. Park my heart.
In that space right in between his arms.
Enveloped by his warm voice, secure in his embrace,
I find rest with my ear pressed to his chest
Perfect slumber all night long
His heart beat…. blasting my favorite song.

"Soulmate"

Maybe,
He is looking for me too
Searching for his missing rib
Maybe,
He can't sleep at night either
He stays up at night dreaming of the possibility
Of finding me
Maybe,
He has the name of our kids picked out
I wonder if they are the same names I want?
Maybe,
He finds himself daydreaming at the oddest times
He spends so much time thinking about the future
He can hardly focus on the present
Maybe,
He prays for me
Just like I pray for him
Prays that I wait for him
That I don't settle for someone else
And leave him alone forever
Maybe,
He prays that God equips me with
The tools to be a great woman, friend, wife, mother
Maybe,
He knows that I exist
That I am somewhere
Looking for him
Dreaming of him
Praying for him
Maybe,
The connection between us that is so strong
That even though we haven't met
We think of each other at the same time
And fall in love
Maybe,
Just Maybe,
He is looking for me too.

Our demise

2009-06-12T16:59:00.001-07:00

I love you
More than words can say
But you’ll never believe me
I mask my ostensibly unrequited love with animosity
Protect my heart with a callous and austere demeanor
I wish you would see through my resilient façade
I wish that you would see that I’m incredibly fragile
Ready to break at a moment’s notice
But my act has been so impeccably perfected, you believe

You could never imagine the pain of being in love with someone that can’t love you back.

I wish you could see me at night
When thoughts of you,
Of us,
Are most rampant
I can’t seem to stop the visions of me wrapped in your arms
In those visions, I was with you and that was all that mattered
The fact that we both belonged to another meant almost nothing
It only meant that the time we had together was that much more precious

We have a connection that you cannot deny
So strong it drives me to do things I wouldn’t normally do
I know you want to do the right thing
But is the right thing always the best thing?

You’ve entered my life and it has never been the same

I can see it in your eyes
You wish that we can stick it out
Wait.
Vent.
But we are both so overwhelmed by the newness
The paroxysm of emotions
The exploration of both our carnal desires
It is simply uncontainable, irrepressible, overwhelming

Our ecstasy will become our demise

Our demise

2009-06-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

Lonely

2009-06-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

I can't cope with rejection…
And so I reject
That’s how the lonely fake it and act as if they’re alone willingly
When in truth I’m just waiting for someone to come rescue me
Save me from myself being that I’m my worst enemy
Can’t wait for the day that love will have its way with me
And break down the brick wall that I pretend to be
I want a man to accept all of me, especially my flaws
Knowing that I don't come pre-packaged perfectly
Accept me as I am
Nourish me, feed my hungry soul
Be that piece I'm lacking
Fill the void, make me whole
My whole heart I'd give that man who'd stand with me as life's storms began to rage
And walk with me knowingly as if he read the next page of my autobiography
I write my story each day but I'd love to have a co-author to take my saddened tone
lightening my load and take my pain away.
Lonely, longing, waiting
For the day that heaven will open up and smile
My soul mate will take my hand, making the days of my past worth while.

Does he know?

2009-06-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

I wonder does he know that secretly I got this love jones?
It's a feeling that settles within me sending shock waves through my bones.
He has a beautiful mind so his words always take me in a zone.
He shares his anguish and I wish I could destroy his pain or partake it as my own.

Yeah, it's just that deep
But I wonder does he know?

I wonder does he know that I long to one day feel his lips?
Feel my heart skip beats as I get lost in his kiss
Maybe afterward we'd converse and travel up to the moon and on the stars make a wish.
Or maybe we could nestle on a cloud and float above the earth
As I whisper to him one of my deepest love poems verse for verse

Yeah, he makes me weak
But I wonder does he know?

He speaks to me of past relationships and I sit back and listen
Wanting him so desperately, but I play my position.
It's just something about him that leaves me in awe
One of the purest souls that I've ever saw
I don't know what it is that he has done to me
Adding a new style to my form of poetry.
A bond with him I automatically detected
Kinda like we met in a previous life and our souls were connected
Because of him my pen has been resurrected
Now each poem I scribe is in thought of him

Does he know?
It's just that deep

If I could, I would make all of his fears go away,
not for my sake. Merely for the sake of his sanity.

If I could, I would make love to his mind, and when it orgasms,
knowledge would spray freely and all that complicates his life would diminish.

If I could, I would caress his soul,
So that all of his cloudy thoughts would be replaced with tranquility.

If I could...I would, it's just that damn deep.
But I wonder if he knows.

And againnn

2009-05-26T15:27:00.000-07:00

So, I wrote these yesterday but didn't post em', so here goessssss. I'm like writing 2 poems a day now. My skills are coming back pretty well huh? :) I hope these aren't too long for you to read.

"I fell in love with a poet"

We would meet after dark for our poetic rendezvous
Minds vibin’
Pens collidin’
Hearts pourin’
Souls stirrin’
Telling poetic tales for only our eyes to see
He was my inspiration, my muse, the very core of me.
He was my hearts counterpart
My before and after
My complicated melody, my beautiful disaster.
We would meet in random spots and let our ink drip
He’d pour me cup after cup of his poetic intellect and I’d eagerly take sips.
He’d call me his bolt of lightening
Because I was silent yet electrifying
Even simple conversations shared between us was poetic
And I…I thought everything was copasetic
But then one day I noticed something that completely shook my mind
He had found a new muse…a new rhythm to his rhyme.
I peer back on the love we shared that’s tucked on lines of loose leaf papers
As I reminisce on the sweetness of our chemistry as I sit back and savor…
The moment
Wondering why I never saw it coming
I will honestly admit that it’s hard to let go
My pen is no longer inspired because his absence has shifted my flow
But I still go to our secret spot everyday at the same time
Hoping to find him there again and maybe craft a few lines
And maybe write another masterpiece by letting our stanzas intertwine
But for now I keep the memories of us tucked in a special corner of my mind.
And though these words may never find him I am sure he knows he stole my heart
I fell deeply in love with him the first time I read his work of art.
And even though I am hurt beyond belief I try my hardest not to show it
So I keep the memories of what use to be close to my soul and treasure the moment when I fell in love with a poet.

"He Serenades me"

He serenades me with beautiful lies, hits betrayal in octaves I’ve never heard
He had me strung out on those melodic notes and I was a prisoner of his words.
He sang those fabricated tales to me a cappella, he had them memorized…no musical sheets or beats
He serenaded me with that sweet poison constantly, almost like a good CD you keep on repeat.
And before I knew it I had become a groupie, the President of his fan club
I purchased every hoax he every sold…yes, I had fallen deeply in love.
I knew every lie song by memory, could sing it to you verbatim
Those notes always swirled around in my head and I was beginning to hate’em
I knew he was bringing beauty to his trickery and it would lead straight to doom,
But every time I tried to walk away he’d have me humming a different tune.
I was such an adoring fan, I couldn’t shut out those beautiful words
I constantly fell victim to his soulful ballads no matter how much it seemed to hurt.
I drove to his house tonight to end it, I had finally made up my mind
I was convinced I wasn’t going to let him swoon me with his lyrics this time.
It was time I unleashed myself from his spell, I had been captivated for far too long
I wondered if he’d sing, “Baby, give me one more chance”, he had went multi-platinum with that song.
He must’ve sensed I was ready to call it quits because as soon as he opened the door
He began singing verse after verse of his number one hits and I begged for an encore.
He even switched up the flow on me, he sung a song that pierced me at the core of my heart
This was one I’d never heard before, but it was sure to top the charts.
::Deep Sigh::
What can I say? I’m a dedicated fan and there’s no way I can say goodbye
He wrapped me in his arms tonight and serenaded me with yet another deceitful lullaby.

I'm on a roll!

2009-05-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

Once again I am here with another poem. This one was kind of hard to write, it didn't flow as easily as the others. But here goes. I don't think its so bad.

"Write me something"

Write me something … it doesn’t have to rhyme
It doesn’t have to flow to a beat or keep time
It doesn’t have to be a dissertation that you have to defend
It just has to be something from you, so that you don’t have to pretend
Put some ink to a piece of paper, or perhaps a pencil lead
Write about something you heard, or maybe about something you said
Scribble on a spare piece of paper, or even a napkin
Transcribe your thoughts on the covering that a small object was wrapped in
Whatever you have available to you to capture a thought in written form
Use that to write about anything, from the extraordinary to the norm
In your own time of course … when time permits
You can write down a torrent of whatever you like … or give it to me in little bits
I’m not asking for a lot, just a summary or synopsis
Of whatever comes to mind, because so often times our thoughts miss -
Something in translation as we see each other in passing
Not really getting to know each other, with missed opportunities amassing

Write me something … it doesn’t have to be a thesis
Nothing that dissects an idea into discernable pieces
It just has to be something that’s honest from the start
Something that’s open and forthright … and written from the heart
It can be something as simple as a sentence with a subject and a predicate
Or maybe something that’s enduring … perhaps something very delicate
Something that you’re comfortable sharing with me in a random flow
I’m not here to pry … tell me what it is you want me to know
Write me something that you just don’t mention in everyday conversation
Something that you might consider sensitive information
Information that you can trust me with because you’ve come to know who I am
And know that I won’t betray you for I’m not a fraud, nor a sham
You don’t have to give it to me right away, so there isn’t a ‘must’ sense
But I really would like to read a little something of substance
As it pertains to you, no matter how personal you choose to be
Whatever it is that you write … feel comfortable enough to feel free

Write me something … it can be a letter, a note or just a few lines
A simple sentence or two that points to wonders and signs
A word, here and there that articulates your thoughts
So that I can see what you’re thinking with regard to my fears and my faults
Feel free to be candid … you have permission to speak your mind
Write me something … no matter how short or long
It can be a line from a speech or words from a favorite song
Something that made a lasting impression and didn’t evaporate like a fizz
Articulate what moves you – I’d like to know what it is
I’d love to know what it is that you’re passionate about
What would you do for free if you just had to go without?
What stirs your soul … and moves you tears?
What is it that influenced your development down through the years?
What is it that shaped you to be the person that you are?
What were the turning points in your life – that for you – raised the bar?
What are your pet peeves and your out-and-out beefs?
What do you consider to be the tenets of your core beliefs?
At the heart of your experience … who is the real you
This is something I’d like to read on paper … I really do

Two days in a row!

2009-05-22T18:45:00.000-07:00

Another post. Yeah, I know, surprising. I wrote another poem! I don't think I have anything to update on, well not anything important so I'll just post this. Here goes!

"Acoustic"

Lets strip
take away the high hat
alleviate the treble
dismiss the 808
I want you acoustic.
I want the essence of you
uninhibited,
carefree,
without worry or care
the discovery of your core.
I'm not interested in what could be
what might would be
what has been
only what is, because thats all that matters.
Simplicity-pure
without airs or false pretense,
without judgement, trial or jury.
No games just us.
You, and me...
My past doesn't matter
Your future isn't guaranteed
But the present is here,
its urgent that you feel me.
Lets emotionally skinny dip
in the pool of each other
moving freely without weight
no force of gravity pull to fight,
nobody else to answer to except ourselves.
Stripped.
I wanna know where your smile derives before it shows across your face
I wanna know the contents of every bag in every tears journey
I wanna know your strengths and your fears, your hopes and your foundation
I.Want.You...acoustically.
The swaggar is what you want me to see
The home holds who you're preparing to be,
neither of which are of interest to me.
No games,
no tricks.
I have faith in our song.

It has been forever.

2009-05-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

Wow. I haven't graced this blog with my presence in awhile. I admit, I did forget about it. A friend of mine reminded me of it last night. He also reminded me that I haven't written any poems in awhile. So yeah, thank him cause he's like the insipration for all of this. I wrote the first poem earlier today and the second one I just got done writing. They're not like my best, but I thought I should get back into writing again.

1st one

"Reach for me"

In the wake of this disaster
My arms outstretch for you
Can we meet somewhere in the middle?
Maybe along the lines of eternity and a moment after forever?
Walk with me as we circumvent through our collage of hurt and heartbreak
Talk with me as I get lost in your dialect as you leave a deep imprint on my mind
Your words leave me with lingering thoughts of what could be
A love beyond a school girls fantasy.
Reach for me…
Lets fill this vacant space that separates us.
Let me touch you and dismiss the hurt that’s buried beneath the surface of your soul.
I see the apprehension in your eyes
Previous lovers brings your heart dark clouds of uncertainty.
Are you willing to give me the chance to show you an everlasting love?
Reach for me…
Allow this love to touch you deeply.
And feel this spiritual connection of what we are destined to be
Reach for me…
As I render myself helpless within your presence
Not only are you the owner of my heart but my souls constant obsession…
Reach for me…

2nd one

"Portrait of my feelings"

I wanted to write a poem to you
One with flowery similes and sweet metaphors
Wrapping my thoughts around ur head
Like a crown of verbs
Injecting action continuesly through your psyche
Making u run...jump...and scream my name

I wanted to pour my heart onto parchment
Painting my love on the canvass of your mind
So that all your thoughts would shine in vivid hues of me

I wanted to be supine... locked in your gaze
As you read the contents of my soul
Immersing urself into my story
While spirits whispered secrets into your ear

I wanted to convey my excitement in you
In forms of fine art... like the masters of yesteryear
Presenting you with lasting gifts of my essence
Wrapped up in the fabric of me

I wanted to let this flood of joy erupt
Branding paper with the salt of my tears
But the happiness I’ve found wont let me cry
So instead I use the light of my smile to write by

I wanted to draw you a detailed map
Compassing a route to my buried treasure
Guiding you towards the glistening jewel
X marks the spot to my pearl

I wanted to write a poem to you
Fitting all my love inside an 8x10
But with each word I wrote
My love continued to grow
Bypassing the limits of page

It's the takeover homie.

2008-11-12T16:16:00.000-08:00

Taken over by Lorenzo, none other than, of course.

Anyways me and lyshia decided it was about time for her to update her blog, then she couldnt find her audio blog so we did one right there and then! on the spot!
it was all random and stuff.
You see you got best of both worrlds combining on the same audio blogness.
It's crazy cuz its unfolding right before your eyes.

It's about time!

2008-09-21T19:40:00.000-07:00

I've been slacking terribly when it comes to updating my blog. I feel bad for neglecting it but I've just been so lazy to do it and some nights I just feel like I have nothing interesting enough to talk about, but here goes. It's time for an update!

Now, let's see, what's been going on with me?

Nothing really besides school. It's going pretty good so far. Classes aren't too stressful yet. Thank God! This week I'm having two tests and I'm halfway done studying for one and I'll do the rest of that studying later on this week. My weekend was just pretty busy so I didn't have much time to study. I went out Friday and Saturday night. I had to make up for not going out for awhile. I had a great time though. Friday I was shooting pool and kicking ass and Saturday I went clubbing, something I haven't done in a long time. Now I'm tired though, because I came home at like 4 this morning and I woke up at like 10 and I didn't sleep anymore at all today. Even though I'm all tired, I had to do this blog! Eric would probably kill me if I didn't do it. Marc probably would too. And being killed by two people ain't no fun! Lol.

Well, that's about it for the update but I guess I'll just talk about some random things for now because now that I've started I actually don't wanna stop.

Today, I watched football and I actually really liked it. I liked it before but not this much. Being a daddy's girl and around daddy so much I ended up watching a lot but I've never watched without him until now. It was cool though. I actually called him while watching the game with the Dolphins since it's his favorite team and we enjoyed watching the Patriots get their asses whopped! I guess I gotta watch more often!

In other news, I don't understand why people think I'm American. I'm not. Like if I'm talking to someone and say something like "you Americans" they'd be like "You're American too." I don't get why they would think that. I was born, grew up and still live in The Bahamas right now so that would make me Bahamian. Just thought I'd clear that up just in case some of you think that. =]

Moving along, the other day I was thinking about marriage and I wonder if I could deal with being married and living with my husband. That is some serious shit to think about. When it comes to my living space and my surroundings little things annoy me and piss me off if things aren't how I'm used to it being so I don't know how I'd react living with my significant other. I would HAVE to live with that person beforehand to see what their living habits are like because some things drive me crazy and I simply could not tolerate it. Living with someone will definitely make or break your relationship. You don't truly know someone until you're sharing the same personal space I guess. And it would probably be frustrating, especially when you're independent and like your alone time like me. But then again I guess when you're in love you look past all that shit. Too bad I wouldn't know since I've never been in love. I wonder what it's like. -sigh

Hmmm, am I rambling on too much?

If I am too bad. I just got so many things running through my mind right now. I'm gonna blog them all and you better read damnit!

So, Weezy is having a concert here next Friday and I'm still trying to figure out whether or not I'm going. I mean, I don't dislike Weezy nor am I a huge fan but I really wouldn't mind going. This would be like my first time going to a concert with a rap artist. I've been to tons of concerts with Reggae artists though. Anyway, the main reason why I'm not sure about going is because I don't think it's too safe. Usually at concerts, some fight or something always breaks out. Since lots of guys are probably gonna be there its bound to happen. Sure there will be police and security there but they ain't worth shit. So maybe I won't go. But then I want to. Oh, what shall I do?!

One last thing, earlier I was talking to someone on Yahoo and realized what I typed was "island talk" and the person probably wouldn't know what I was trying to say. Lots of times I find myself having to backspace what I type because you guys probably would be wondering what the fuck I'm talking about. I talk proper to all of you but if I was talking to someone from here it would be totally different. Our dialect isn't so bad that it sounds like we're speaking a different language but you wouldn't be able to understand the majority of things that I say if I didn't speak proper. It isn't so much of how we say things but its just what we say because my accent isn't that strong. Maybe one day if you'd like a lesson in Bahamian dialect, just let me know. I might be up for it. Lol. Let give you a little taste right now. Here are some things we would say that you guys probably don't know about.

add on: to show off

all on a sudden: suddenly

blumus: large undergarment worn by a female aka granny pantiessss lol

boo boo: an unattractive individual.

cahoots: an organised plot

camolly bump: a bump resulting from a blow to any part of the head

curry-favour: favourtism

cut-skin: beating or cut ass

gall: will power or audacity

piece-piece: to do something a little at a time

link up: good bye

what you sayin: how are you?

And those are just a few. Lol. There is sooooo much more. Like persons have made dictionaries with all the things we say.

But anyway, I'm getting a little tired now. I think that's a good enough update! I hope it's not too much for you guys to read.

Until next time though!

Payce!

Take Over! (Hi its Me! )

2008-09-10T21:02:00.000-07:00

So Im on Lysha's blog right now
(she let me on. HI LYSHA! )
She couldn't update right now
So i figured I'd do it for her
I should really try with this one
don't want it to be bad

Though I will admit it will be hard to do
since im like miles away =(
and I dont know every detail

I wont fret though

We talk everyday =)
(she has like the sweetest voice :">)
So I can say enough

she's has been awfully busy with school and stuff
Im glad she gets days off to relax an all

Oh sunday we watched the VMA's together
sung some songs and laughed on how Britney cleaned up
not only herself but the awards

The other day I was very sleepy and fell asleep on Lysha while typing
to her on my sidekick (sorry bout that) =( I have to apologize for that
which i just did

Last night We wasn't feeling too well .. =(
I had chest pains and she had tummy pains
shes such a trooper though and toughed it out
Eventually we were both able to rest

And today ..Well she thought it would be cool if
I blogged for her and here I am
apparently so is my baby sister who is helping me type =P
( Lanay says Hi ^_^ )

Lol I should wrap this up my sister isn't letting me type now
Lysha I hope you enjoy this post , I had fun doing it!

We should do this again sometime
^_^

Shame on me.

2008-08-25T18:30:00.000-07:00

Well, it sure has been awhile since I wrote in this blog. I've neglected it most of the summer and its a shame. Its just that I've been very lazy lately so I never feel like blogging once I get on the computer, and plus I never have anything really interesting to blog about. I don't right now either but I feel like it's definitely time for an update.

I'm back in Nassau (another island in The Bahamas) for school. Blah. School started today and it was okay I guess, kinda sucked. For one, it rained this morning but after that it got like really hot. So it was a pretty hot day and when its hot I get all miserable and stuff. I only had one class today and it was Microeconomics 211. I went into the classroom and it felt like a damn furnace. The previous class had the heat on. It had to be an accident because it was wayyyyy to hot to even think about turning on a damn heater. But I guess class wasn't so bad after the first 20 minutes when the class cooled down. My professor seems pretty nice even though she's all old and ancient. My book for that class cost 220. Anyone wanna buy it for me? I'll love you forever! I promise! Besides the heat outside and the heat for the first 20 minutes of that class my day wasn't so bad. It was cool seeing everyone again since I was gone for the whole summer.

So, after a long hot day, I come home to the sweetest thing. My parents and my lil sis came over with me to spend a few days together before I start school. They left to go back home while I was at school. When I got home I saw a card on my bed left by my little sister, saying the sweetest things about how I'm such a great sister. I cried. It was too sweet. I'm gonna miss those guys! =[ And I'm gonna miss home even though I was there for the whole summer. Although I just left, I can't wait to go back to be with the fam again.

I think that's all I have to say.

Oh, btw, I'm feeling pretty sick. I'm all stuffed up and my throat feels scratchy, and I'm hot so right now I'm pretty miserable and snappy. Grrrrrrrr! I just took some pills, hopefully I feel better soon.

Alright.

I'm done now.

No wait.

I got my nails done today. They're all pretty and stuff. =]

Okay.

Now I'm done.

Peace!

PS, I promise I won't take so long to update again.

-yawns-

2008-07-16T19:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I was supposed to blog yesterday but got lazy and didn't do it and a few minutes ago I was laying here contemplating on whether or not I should but after Namor posted a new blog, I figured I had to do one too. This nigga hasn't blogged in like forever and if he blogged then damnit, I should too. Lol.

I have nothing much to blog about. Nothing new has been going on except for the fact that I finally got a job, at a bank. It's cool, I just hate the whole waking up early thing since I'm so used to waking up all late. I guess I'll get used to it after awhile but until then I should take my ass to bed early. So if you see me up really late, make me go to bed. K? Thanks.

I'm kinda tired right now, and my feet hurt. Standing in heels all day is no joke! I wouldn't wear heels, but uhh, I'd barely be able to see over the counter if I didn't so I kinda need em'. It's a shame huh? But, I need a damn massage. Any offers? C'mon. Don't be shy. I'll love you forever if you do it. Really.

So, I was talking to Namor and he was telling me about how these old women always be hitting on him while he's at work. For the past 3 days, I've been hit on by old men. Not nasty, wrinkly old guys but guys like over 30. Thats too old for me. But what's with these old people? What do they want with us young folks? Gosh! Lol.

-looks at the clock-

-sighs-

It's almost about that time for me to be heading to bed. I don't wanna but I should. I'm trying not to stay up too late tonight. So I think I'll end this blog now. Besides, I was running out of things to say. Til next time though!

Peace!

Boredom.

2008-07-08T15:26:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in awhile. Last week things have been quite depressing so I wasn't around for awhile as some of you have noticed. I am okay now though, so maybe my blog entries won't be so sad for awhile.

I have no clue what to blog about right now.

Wait.

An idea just popped into my head. Since I'm so bored, I'll just type a bunch of random things about me. Read and you shall get to know me a little better.

1. I can wiggle my ears. (without touching them of course)

2. My name was initially going to be Erica but it was changed to Alysha while I was still in the hospital.

3. I wear a size 5 shoe.

4. My middle name is Angel.

5. I would like to write a book someday.

6. I got the chicken pox twice when I was younger. Once when I was 10, and the other time I was 13. And I got it the second time around the time of my mother's funeral. :/

7. I broke my left hand when I was 8. Fell out of a tree.

8. In elementary school I participated in gymnastics. I stopped after 5th grade. My coach moved.

9. I had always wanted to go to Disney world but when I finally went it was a disappointment. It was way too hot and way too crowded.

10. I got my first kiss when I was 10. It was gross. It was with a guy named Harry during a game of truth or dare. Gosh.

11. When I need to relax or think, I usually go to the beach or take a drive.

12. My blood type is O positive.

13. I used to take piano lessons when I was younger but quit within a year. I wish I hadn't. I wanna learn how to play something. :[

14. I can put both of my legs behind my head.

15. I own way too much heels.

16. I take everything way too personally.

17. Remembering a series of numbers for long periods of time is one of my non-existent talents.

18. I am a really fast learner. So you can teach me anything. Anything. ;] Lol.

19. I prefer water over soda, well every other soda but Pepsi. I'm addicted to it.

20. I love, love, love cranberry juice and pink lemonade.

21. One of my biggest pet peeves is liars/deceptive people.

22. I've never had to wear braces but I wear glasses.

23. I have really small hands and feet.

24. I love strawberries.

25. My favorite planet is Mars. Because men are from Mars. ;]

26. If I could have any superhero power it would be to fly.

27. I think I'm stopping at 30 because it's weird to stop at this number and I'm running out of stuff to say. Yes, it's not a random fact but who cares?

28. Sometimes I talk in my sleep.

29. I love rain. It relaxes me, but sometimes it makes me sad.

30. I eat way too much junk food.

31. I am a neat freak, I like things organized all the time.

32. I know I said I would stop at 30, but more stuff came to mind. Sue me.

33. I usually drive fast.

34. I wanna go sky diving one day, even though I'm afraid of heights.

35. I love to cook and bake.

36. I am very ticklish.

37. I'm only 5'1, maybe 5'2" but I don't really mind.

38. My younger sister is almost taller than me.

39. Okay, the one after this one will be the last one. Even though technically this doesn't count as one.

40. The tallest guy I ever dated was 6'5", don't ask how that worked.

So, I think I'm done. You probably won't read them all but thats fine. It was something to cure my boredom for awhile.

I'll try to blog more often. I promise Marc. Lol. But uhh, I'm done for now.

Peace!

Blah.

2008-06-24T20:18:00.001-07:00

So, I have nothing much to blog about. My days have been pretty uneventful. Everyday, I do just about the same thing. I wake up early, run on the beach take a dip in the water, come home and sleep some more then go out and shoot some pool and just chill with a few old friends. Its not so bad though. Feels good to be home. When its time to leave in August to go back to school I'll be all sad and stuff.

I'm still job hunting. No luck though. I called two places I applied to today and both of them said they changed their minds and are not hiring right now because things are too slow. So I'm waiting on the others hoping I'll get a call soon.

Other than the bad luck I'm having on the job hunting situation, everything else is okay I guess. Just okay. Better than being bad huh? I guess shouldn't complain then. -shrugs-

I'm out!

My life.

2008-06-18T18:07:00.000-07:00

My life is pretty much blah right now. I am happy that my health situation is getting so much better though. I hardly ever feel weak and tired like I used to be anymore and no more cases of shortness of breath. I guess those iron pills are finally working. But, I still can't say that things are "good". If you were to ask me how I'm doing my response would usually be "alright" or "okay". It's because I can't truly say I'm happy. Like, the people around me seem to be so content and happy. And I wonder when will I find my happiness?

-sigh-

Burning to write

2008-06-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

My fingers burn to speak
But my mind is too weak.
I can’t lay out the words my heart wants to say.
My mind fidgets with words but can’t get them out the right way.
The pen in my hand starts to shake as if it were to burst,
Warning to erupt if my writers block were to grow worse.
My heart promises to do the same as it beats within my chest
In an unsteady rhythm as if preparing to take a premature rest.
My skin crawls all over my body as if attempting to take flight
Onto the paper where it used to shine with all its might,
When I used to spill my whole being onto sheet after sheet
Of paper where life was truly complete.
My body and my soul are threatening the mind which can no longer produce
The words that would carry me to the only place I dared let myself loose.
An agitated heart pumps blood to a mind clouded,
Lost, almost forgotten in a room over crowded
With troubles that burden it night and day.
But my soul continues to fight, for there must be a way.
Something must exist that may restore the joyous envisions
That filled my mind before finding words for heart and soul became difficult decisions.
My mind has had its share of hard times,
The pains that sit on what were once brilliant lines.
Making the words dance in the reader’s mind as they tell my story.
Dancing gaily they describe with perfection a tale of magnificent glory.
Now each line is composed of jumbled words that tell
A story of which neither heart nor soul would ever spell.

A week later

2008-06-12T13:35:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a week since it all happened. Am I doing better? Yes. Still feeling all weak and tired but I'll survive.

Good news though, I caught up with 2 old friends this week who I haven't talked to in a long time. It was really good to hear from them. That was the highlight of my week. Other than that, nothing special happened. Life is just blah right now.

-sighs-

Can it get any worse?

2008-06-05T14:51:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty much one of the worse days I've ever had. The first on my list of bad days would be the day I found out my mother died, this one follows close behind.

First, my dad and I had a big argument over something pretty dumb. And my step mom joined in and was on his side. So both of them were in my ear, early this morning about some really dumb shit I really didn't wanna hear. And that was just the start.

After it died down, I started to get a headache, and thought it was from all the shouting and arguing but turns out it had no relation to that. Yeah, you guessed it, anemia again. Following the headache, I started to get dizzy, then my heart sped up a lot. And after all of this happened, I knew what was next, the shortness of breath. After I was there struggling to breathe for awhile, I passed out. Yeah, it was that serious. I woke up in the hospital, with an oxygen mask over my face. When I woke up and gained my composure, my doctor ran some tests to see what was going on because my iron supplements should've been working. Turns out I needed some stronger ones and now I need to take iron injections once every week. I hate hospitals, I hate doctors. I don't wanna have to go there every week, but hey, now I have to.

So things can get worse right? Right? That's what I thought. Unfortunately they did. After I took my first injection and went home, I was in bed, just resting and I got a phone call. Found out that one of my cousins died in car accident last night. We grew up together and we were really close. We kinda grew apart as we got older since we don't live on the same island, but still, it hurts a lot. I couldn't even cry. I don't know if I ever will. I do know that I'm hurting though. A lot.

So there goes my day. My really bad day. I'm just wondering right now. Can it get any worse?

Optimism

2008-06-02T18:26:00.000-07:00

I'm just tired of it honestly. I'm tired of people saying "Everything's gonna be okay soon" all the time because it's not. Life is just as effed up now as it has been for the past few years for me. Even though things did look up for awhile a few times during those years, it always goes back to the way it was. So cut the optimistic bullshit. Things seem like they're gonna always be this way. -sigh-

Just feel like ranting.

2008-05-25T16:07:00.000-07:00

So, I'm just here thinking about the events of the past week and I'm just kinda getting mad about it so I thought I should just blog it and rant about it. Like Lizzy said, this is what blogs are for!

First on my list, why is it that when you try to be a good friend and offer assistance to a "friend" who seems to be in need of emotional support they push you away? If they feel as if they can't trust you or that you're just not the type of person they can talk to why be mean about it? Why give me the world of attitude when all I'm trying to do is help? It's not like they even say they don't wanna be bothered or they're not in the mood to talk, they usually come out in a status or in a blog or something and say they need someone to talk to. Smh. That's the last time I try to be helpful.

Then there's guys. I'm tired of guys toying with my emotions. I can't count the amout of times a guy has said "I like you" or "I love you" to me and then just suddenly lose interest in me. They kinda just stop talking to me or seem to be avoiding me. I'm really sick of it. Don't say it if you don't mean it. Someone this week just popped up and said "I love you" to me. I'm not even trying to get invovled with him in anyway because I've been there before, all it is is heartbreak. They're the ones who say "I love you" first, and although at the time you didn't love them, you eventually begin to feel that way. Then, after you've invested time and emotions they're tired of you. Wtf is up with that? I wish I knew.

Then, I hate it when people just give me an attitude when all I did was say "Hi" and try to start a convo. I mean thats what people are on your list for aren't they? Don't log on to Yahoo and give me attitude because I fuckin' IM'ed you. If you don't want to be bothered by me and only want to talk to certain people, change your fuckin' stat to away or something or go invisible. Better yet just log the fuck off. Geez.

So, I think I'm done ranting now. Ugh. I just ugh...
Done.

Shame on me.

2008-05-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

So, I have been neglecting my baby for awhile. My baby= this blog. I just haven't been in the poetry writing mood and my days haven't been interesting enough to write about lately. Not that it's all that interesting now or anything, I just feel like my blog needs some attention!

Uhh, today was pretty boring. I woke up early this morning and went for a jog on the beach. It felt pretty good to do that. I used to do it every morning before school but after I graduated I got lazy and stopped doing it. I think it's time I start again, it's pretty refreshing. Only problem is though, I've been really tired lately because of my anemia and so I can't do too much of that running or be too active in any way. It sucks. And the worse thing about it is from time to time I get shortness of breath. It happened today again, and every time it happens it's scary. Doctors say it should stop after awhile as long as I keep taking my iron pills. I wish it would soon. :/

Besides my run on the beach, I didn't do much. I chilled with a friend of mine who I graduated with. We went to shoot some pool. I cut some serious ass. Most people assumed I can't play. Maybe because I look all tiny and sometimes I can't reach too far across the table because I'm short but I'm still good! Somebody come try me so I can kick your ass! Lol.

I think that's all I have to say. See, my days have been sucking lately so nothing to write about. But hey, atleast I don't have to feel bad about neglecting my blog anymore.

Anyway, til next time.
Toodles.

No Simple Tears

2008-05-14T14:25:00.000-07:00

Just as the physical composition of a tear....
H20
Sodium
Chloride
Proteins...
is not simple
Neither is
The culmination of emotions
that just can't be contained
The vulnerability of a human BE ing
that can no longer be restrained
For put into use, reality
says the composition of a tear is
One part Lord have mercy
Two parts, I just wanna die
Three parts, I've held onto to these tears
for years, and fuck it, now I'm gonna cry
It's your first breath out of mother's womb
welcomed into a family with jubilation
From watching your baby take their first step
To taking snapshots at their high school graduation
It's being laughed at for crying
being told that you must be weak
It's laughing so hard both your eyes
and your bladder start to leak...
Sometimes, it's having bars around your mind
cause you can't reason with clarity
It's a padded cell of forgotten aspirations
a straight jacketed insanity
A tear can be translucent sugar...
the first warm kiss with your true soul mate
that stirs the soul to where your lips
take note of the exact time and date
It's a screaming, blood curdling nightmare
felt during the day, cause you're living it now
It's the flesh tearing away from it's fingernail bed
you swallow the pain, but only heaven knows how
A tear is realizing that your relationship
can't be fixed, and you have to say goodbye
It's saying fairwell to that loved one much too soon,
never coming to terms with why they had to die
It's saying yes baby, please don't stop
cause they're loving you right
and waking up to their adoring gaze
cause that escapade wasn't only for one night
It's being so tired, that 80 winks
can't even refresh you
Not only is your body bone tired
but your mind is too
A tear
Laced in sheer joy, pain, fear,
and sadness..
A tear can be many things
but in no way, shape, or form
can it be called simple

Just one of those days.

2008-05-10T16:54:00.000-07:00

So, today is another one of those days. Ya know, when you feel physically and emotionally like shit when the previous day you were perfectly fine. On the physical side, I've been stuffed up and sneezing all day and I have this headache that just won't go away even though I took some medicine. Although it's just a little headache thats not too bad, it's still there. I guess when it rains all day and I have no choice but to sit at home, I get to thinking and sometimes my mind tends to wander off into places I wish it didn't go. Like, today it went to thinking about past relationships AGAIN and I began to think that something must be wrong with me, because all of my exes cheated. I must've not been doing what I should've been doing as a girlfriend. And then I began to think about the "could have been" relationships where eventually the guy just lost interest in me. So, I was just wondering wtf is wrong with me? Still got no answer to that....

Then, the feeling of loneliness began it set in. You would think I'd been numb to the feeling since I've been this way for a pretty long time but its just one of those feelings I can't avoid. I can't remember the last time I even heard someone say "I love you" other than family, or a friend. I miss hearing that, and I miss saying "I love you too". I wonder when I'd get a chance to say that again or hear it again. Shit, that would make me too happy right now.

So yeah, thats what I've been thinking about all day and it had me in a pretty crappy mood. I mean, I'm okay now but earlier I wish I really had someone to talk to. Currently, I really don't have someone to talk to about my problems and how I'm feeling. It helps when you have someone to talk to who can just give an encouraging "Everything's gonna be okay." Sometimes I wish this damn blog would write back to me and give me some advice. Lol. But since that won't be happening I guess I'll just continue to do what I normally do. Cry a little until I feel better, then write in this blog. Sucks huh? I know.

But on a lighter note, why the fuck is it raining so much?! Yesterday it was like so hot, like the kind of hot where the beach was fuckin' heaven. So, the beach was where I was at just about all day yesterday. But today, the sun was not out at all, and it was just raining the whole day. Stupid ass rain fucked up my mood! Hmph! But anyway, yeah, I'm okay now like I said. And I think I'm done with this blog now. I'll go listen to some music and sing outloud although I sound like shit. I'll just keep these headphones on to avoid hearing myself. Hehe. Thank God you can't hear me.

Anyway, toodles!

The long overdue call

2008-05-06T20:18:00.000-07:00

A lot of time has past since I heard that voice
The voice that causes my heart and my nether regions contractions
The voice that gives me mental orgasms
Making my body shudder and igniting a fire
that increases my sexual vision
As I closed my eyes it was all real
As real as the words that were flowing from my mouth…

I’m hoping he doesn’t regret that phone call
Because I would love another
And another
And hmm
Another
Pick up the phone and call
And I’ll answer
Ready and waiting….

I Just Feel Like It

2008-05-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

I just feel like it
Just feel like writing,
about everything
and nothing at all
About pain and gain, the logical, the insane
The grand scale of climbing, and the unanticipated fall
I want to write about opening my
hidden wings and truly flying
freely living, unafraid of dying
Living life as easily as breathing
Inhaling and exhaling without even trying
I want to celebrate the good times
Realizing that the bad...isn't forever
I want to live on my pulse
Each beat becoming a lever
to propel me higher to where ever
I'm supposed to be
And when I get to where I'm supposed to be
The apex of what's meant for me
The recognition of that will scream
Will register in mind blowing octaves
Far beyond the underlying meaning of a dream
There's more, much more
to this life, to this dimension
Far more than I can even begin to communicate
in words, but it is my intention
to try
This is one of those times
That the ink is churning inside
An emission of rhymes
was in high order
Because sometimes
I just feel like it
I just feel like writing...

Another "today" blog.

2008-04-23T18:32:00.000-07:00

So, since I'm not in the "poetry mood" I'll just let you guys know about another day in my boring ass life on the island. Today, I went to go get my hair done. I didn't have an appointment so I went to the hair salon mad early to see if I could take someone's spot who showed up late. Luckily, the person who had the 8:00 appointment didn't show up on time so I took the bitches spot. How lucky is that? Hehe.

Right now, I'm staring at this spot on my leg, its red and kinda purpleish in the middle. (I know purpleish isn't a word damnit). So, something obviously bit me but I don't know what the hell did. This evening before it got dark, I was on the beach with a few of my lil cousins and they decided to run in the back of the beach with a bunch of trees and bush, and since I was the adult there I had to follow them and make sure their lil asses didn't get into trouble. Yes, I was the adult there even though me and those 10 year olds are about the same height. Well maybe I'm a lil taller but still. So yeah, when I was in the back there I probably got bitten by some poisonous deadly island spider so now I'm probably dieing. Nah, god forbid that happens. Hopefully, I just got bit by an ant or something. -shrugs-

So, random, I was watching the news today and gas prices here in The Bahamas rose again to $5.03! $5.03 a gallon! Thats ri-fucking-diculously high. So I'm not freaking going anywhere unless I absolutely have to, or I'm calling someone to pick me up. Gas is too freakin' expensive. Gosh!

Hmmm, now that I'm home and in bed, my night is going pretty okay. Namor made fun of my accent, even though he knows he thinks it sexayyyyy. Here's the convo:

y.tune: K, i tink bout it.
definite.beauty: lol tink?
y.tune: i TINK!
definite.beauty: the word is THINK.
y.tune: oh
y.tune: tink tink tink tink
y.tune: you say thirty like churty
definite.beauty: Lol yeen never heard me say thirty
y.tune: yes
definite.beauty: But I think I kinda do say it like that.
definite.beauty: when?
y.tune: it made me laugh the other day
definite.beauty: Lol I don't remember saying thirty though
y.tune: well you did!
y.tune: and you was asking me what I was laughing at
y.tune: and i said nothing
y.tune: =]
definite.beauty: I knew you were laughing at me!
y.tune: ^-^
y.tune: churty-tree
y.tune: = 33.
definite.beauty: Lmao I probably would say it like that though
definite.beauty: Darn.
y.tune: Yup
y.tune: it's cute. =]
definite.beauty: But you still be laughing though! =(
y.tune: i laugh cause i find it cute
y.tune: duh
y.tune: =]

I know he digs mi accent even though he laughs sometimes. =)

So yeah, I "tink" I'm done writing for the night, so till next time.
Toodles!

Today

2008-04-22T20:59:00.000-07:00

So, I had a pretty okay day today. Nothing too special. I got my nails done and then went shoe shopping. I don't know why, but I'm like addicted to shoes. I have like a zillion pairs in my closet already and I don't need anymore but I still buy em'. I need to attend a support group for this shit-SSA, Shoe Shopaholic's Anonymous! Lol. So yeah, I saw these bomb ass heels, was all excited with this big grin on my face and doing the happy dance thinking I was gonna get um...but...they didn't have it in my size. This is the price I pay for having small feet. I need to grow atleast a 1/2 size more so that I can wear a size 5 1/2. Then maybe I'd have better luck finding shoes. But then again, maybe its good that I wasn't able to get another pair of shoes today. No use feeding this addiction. -sigh-

So, after the shoe disappointment, I went with my cousin to go look at some tattoos. In the tattoo parlor, there was this one dude working there who kinda stalked me yesterday and I found it weird that I ran into him again. Yesterday, while at school doing some last minute studying before my exam he was staring at me across the room in Starbucks. He eventually approached me and started talking to me like he knew me. Asking me a zillion questions and when he was done with those questions he just started staring at me because he was so "infatuated with my beauty". He kinda freaked me out. Namor says he's a stalker but I'm hoping he isn't. Last night I heard some noises outside of my window, I'm hoping that wasn't him. So today he was all, "This must be destiny that we meet again." Like Namor said, so damn corny. Heen got that game like yew bew! -wink- Lol.

Random, I know, but I hate when people don't use their effin signals when driving. Like, how hard is it to just flip the damn switch on the side of the wheel when you're about to turn. It makes things easier for people like me who have road rage and like to cuss at everyone that does something dumb on the road. Gosh! Use your signals people!

So yeah,back to my whole "What I did today" topic, my night is going pretty smooth. The boredom hasn't hit me at all because Namor is here entertaining me as usual. Even though sometimes he wants to get mean and act hard, he knows I run this! So yeah, we're talking about fresh prince and I said I think I've watched every episode of it. In return he says he thinks everyone has. I wonder if this is so...hmmmm. Hehe. But aye, get like him losers!

I'm done talking now.
Toodles!
=)

Insomnia

2008-04-21T21:30:00.001-07:00

On an oasis in the darkness
I'm overcome by my weakness
Dreams of success clash with experiences
leaving my body and mind sleepless
Insomnia wreaking havoc and wreck
Desperate to reach a dream state
but my attempts won't connect
Wishing fate would shut my eyes
and fade me out
Combination of fear and hope
keep my battered legs on route
During the day I walk up right
on different worlds
it's so vivid
Such power, role playing played
a role in making me agitated
and livid
So eager to escape from insurmountable
set backs
I tossed and turned in all directions
but my eyes remained closed to the facts
My recurring nightmare should induce
sleep seamless
Instead my clock-radio reads
3 am ceaseless

I'm tired

Hooked on Phonics

2008-04-21T16:05:00.000-07:00

Hooked on phonics...
Tremblin from your spoken alphabet.
Phonetically wet
From your intellect,
Fondlin my cerebral cortex.
Mentally erect,
Orgasmic gyrations from verbal sex.
Our spiritual realms connect
Like the next reflex...
got me speakin in Ebonics
La, La, La
Like the Delphonics.
Feenin for your spoken chronic,
Forget the sex...
I'm hooked on your phonics.

April 20th.

2008-04-20T10:08:00.001-07:00

So, mom if you were alive right now today would've been wonderful.
It's your birthday so we'd have a blast, just chillin' on the beach like we normally do.
Me, you, Aaliyah and dad.
But it's been 6, almost 7 years since you left us.
We're still holding on but at the same time still missing you.
When I have a daughter someday, I think I'll name her after you.
-sighs-
Don't know whether I should cry, or just hold shit back.
All I know is, I miss you Mom.
R.I.P.

Sleep.

2008-04-17T00:10:00.000-07:00

So, I'm like really sleepy right now. I know you're wondering why I don't just take my ass to bed. Its all Namor's fault. I've been saying I'm gonna head to bed for like the past hour but once he's online I'm not gonna leave. I wish it wasn't so damn expensive to call the U.S. because I woulda called his ass and not have to lay here with this bright ass light from the computer glaring in my eye. But yeah, when I get back home in Grand Bahama next week, I'll be calling that loser (since I have a phone there with free long distance to the U.S.) instead of having to IM all the time because I get lazy and don't feel like typing. Yes Namor, I know. Pure laziness. But hey, you know how I am.

So, I think I'm gonna go back and IM him and maybe I'll just fall asleep at this computer because I don't think I'm gonna leave anytime soon. I think I've done enough talking to myself in this blog though. So, toodles!

An introduction

2008-04-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

Milked from this page, my poetic diction.
Medicine to those who have the addiction.
Explanatory for those ignorant of the true definition
Of perfection.
Aid for those who exist in,
lyrical poverty.
I'll let you borrow this knowledge
But it's MY property
At the end of the day I take it home with me
And you go home without.I leave you thirsty .
Wanting more. Expectant of whats in store
the next time i bless you with this
Poetic expertise and experience.
Wisdom beyond these teenage years.
I am a separate piece
From society and what you normally see.
Blind men gaze upon these lines and comprehend!
Deaf men hear these words and understand!
This transcends all disability.
All lack of ability and understanding of poetry.
This is as real as can be!
Why? Because its a product of me.
Not anything you think you know,
Not The me you think you know.
This is the real you get when you touch one's soul.
The truth you attain when you know one's heart .
This comes from within.
I don't spin
Pulsating lines and musical rhymes
Just so I can lie.
I don't have the time!
I write this that you see
To defy all falsities,
And lies which deceive.
It is more for me than for you.
But if you can relate, cool.
I'm just reaching for a deeper understands of whats
TRUE.

Complex Apology

2008-04-16T12:17:00.001-07:00

I decided to put some words down on paper
Let my pen get some exercise, instead of my mouth
Which, apparently doesn't seem to get along with my mind sometimes
I think some signals misfired, or maybe some crossed wires
Prohibited me from clear communication
There's this age-old conflict between what your brain thinks and what comes out of your mouth
And let's not even go there if the heart is involved, instigating everything
It seems strange to me, that these malfunctions only occur when I'm near you
Maybe it's a chemical reaction
From your pheromones of attraction,
That causes my heart and my nether regions contractions
It's such a distraction because I can only concentrate on instant satisfaction
And there's only a fraction of a second between thought and speech
Because once it's said or done, there can be no retraction
Whew! See what I be going through?
I guess my pen isn't in as good as shape as I thought
Because this explanation is long and drawn out
But now I'm at the crux of what this is about
Look, this is really, really hard for me
But I wanted to tell you…I'm sorry
Well, that wasn't as bad as I expected
Now can we have some make-up sex?

Can I get high?

2008-04-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

Can I get high?
Can I be captivated by the thought of your internal fury and flung into eternity by the smoothness of your voice?
Let your essence swirl around in my every breath until it becomes smoke trapped in my lungs, and exhale ....
and exhale my last puff of you
i want to take your herbal masculinity, break it down piece by piece
and roll it in my caramel skin
so you get fully acquainted with my creases and my folds
my nooks and crannies, and you kno my papers thoroughly
and maybe i can take your seeds, put them aside for later use
if we, get better acquainted that is,
if i get an addiction to you
Even though I was told it was impossible, but still can I try?
Can I get high?
buy the seductiveness of you, and bag it
sell it in the midnight's corner darkness unseen by the light
Let your essence swirl around in my every breath until it becomes smoke trapped in my lungs, and exhale ....
and exhale until my focus is no longer on the world
but i am focusing on you and
you filling me up completely
leaving me in a constant ecstasy,
craving your energy, having more then just a taste for your
whole entire being, but more like i got the munchies for your soul
because I've become addicted to your voice,
addicted to soundwaves that exit
your mouth before you have a chance to utter your first word,
I've become enchanted by the breaths that you take, and hope that you continue to take them
because I've fallen in love with the rhythm that your heart beat makes,
the heart very rarely lies, but
Can I get high?
go to another level of conciseness with your affection,
to another state of being,
satisfied with just being inches away from your living soul
inches away from reaching cloud nine,
Just being inches away from reality, with you
Letting your essence swirl around in my every breath until it becomes smoke trapped in my lungs, and exhale ....
until i exhale you,
...and you let me inhale you
until i exhale you
....and you let my inhale you
until i exhale you, and you take away my breath
Gasping for air, somewhere between the brown lines that define
your body from mines
in my state of mind, i define this as the ultimate love,
my addiction to your soul, that lets me read between the lines
Lets your essence swirl around in my every breath until it becomes smoke trapped in my lungs, and exhale ....
and i was wondering, off your love,
Can I get high?

Hehe...Inspired by Namor.
:)

This blog.

2008-04-14T22:37:00.001-07:00

So, because of the current state of boredom I'm in right now, I created this blog.
And because Namor told me to make it.
I've been meaning to do so for a long time, but I've been so lazy.
So here I am.
I guess I'll be writing more frequently now because I really have been slacking.
I think I'll go write something right now.
And I'll post that when I'm done.
:)